Wednesday, July 24, 2013


I hate feeling jealous.  I have three super-tight girlfriends.  Two of them had their first babies within the last year.  The other one is due any day now.  Our relationships are strained.  I try to be a good friend, but it's painful every time we talk.  One new mom constantly tells me to enjoy my life without kids while I can.  Thanks for the insightful advice.  I am missing my close friendships and feeling rather lonely.

Kate Middleton just had the royal baby!!!  Everyone in my office is participating in a pool to guess what his name will be.  I'm royally jealous!  Not because she's beautiful.  Not because she's royalty.  I'm jealous because she's a regular woman who had a baby. 

It's been over a year since the first miscarriage and almost a year since the second miscarriage.  We're still using condoms.  I'm terrified of becoming pregnant again.  I've been undergoing accupuncture for four months but still insist on condoms.  I started up smoking again just so I have an excuse not to get pregnant.  How crazy is that?

My husband insists that we just had bad luck.  He won't discuss adoption.  I don't want to go through the terrible pain again.  It's weird, because I've never been scared of anything.  I'm adventurous and I take risks. 

Am I the only one who is terrified to try again?  How did you get the strength to try again?