It's been seven months since my second miscarriage. I think I'm subconsciously waging war with my body, treating it as poorly as possible. I have not made a healthy choice in seven months.
I saw a specialist at UIC hospital where they are getting a recurrent pregnancy loss clinic up and running. I had all of the tests done. They all came back, "normal." I was told to get back on the horse and my next pregnancy will involve progesterone supplements.
I'm not physically or emotionally ready to try again, but the clock is a tickin...
I got a puppy and she brings me joy, but there is still a nagging emptiness.
I think I've only got one more try in me. I hear stories about people who have had four, five, six miscarriages. I don't know how they did it. I don't think I'm that strong.
I need to prepare my body for round three, and in the meantime, try to live a fulfilling life without a child. I have a rafting trip in the Grand Canyon coming up.
I am going to use this blog to keep myself accountable to making healthy choices so that I may physically and emotionally heal from this experience. No more spiraling into oblivion. Whether my future holds a baby in my arms or not, I need to heal and love this vessel of a body, even if it can't carry a child.
The first step will be a healthy dinner tonight and some mild exercise. I wrote it so I have to do it. I hope this works.