Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Seven months after my Second Miscarriage

It's been seven months since my second miscarriage.  I think I'm subconsciously waging war with my body, treating it as poorly as possible.  I have not made a healthy choice in seven months. 

I saw a specialist at UIC hospital where they are getting a recurrent pregnancy loss clinic up and running.  I had all of the tests done.  They all came back, "normal."  I was told to get back on the horse and my next pregnancy will involve progesterone supplements. 

I'm not physically or emotionally ready to try again, but the clock is a tickin...

I got a puppy and she brings me joy, but there is still a nagging emptiness.

I think I've only got one more try in me.  I hear stories about people who have had four, five, six miscarriages.  I don't know how they did it.  I don't think I'm that strong.

I need to prepare  my body for round three, and in the meantime, try to live a fulfilling life without a child.  I have a rafting trip in the Grand Canyon coming up.

I am going to use this blog to keep myself accountable to making healthy choices so that I may physically and emotionally heal from this experience.  No more spiraling into oblivion.  Whether my future holds a baby in my arms or not, I need to heal and love this vessel of a body, even if it can't carry a child.

The first step will be a healthy dinner tonight and some mild exercise.  I wrote it so I have to do it.  I hope this works.